Who let the dogs in?
by AGENT Kuma-chan
Summary: Gift!fic for Remy. Gintoki/Kagura. When Sadaharu is missing, it's up to Gintoki, Kagura, and Shinpachi to find him. However, breaking into a pound and then getting adopted was not a part of Kagura's plan.


Fandom: Gintama

**Fandom:** Gintama

**Pairing:** Gintoki/Kagura

**Prompt:** Jailbreak

**Requestor: **Remy (**Agent Ren**)

**Warning:** I'm afraid that I didn't put much of Gintoki/Kagura-ness in here at all. And there is a lot of dialogue….

(And as for the title, it is referring to my LJ layout. Which has a lot of adorable, cuddly dogs on it. It is pure love.)

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"Well," Kagura said. "We're in." She peered around the empty cell they were sitting in. "Though, there's no sign of him at all."

"Right," Gintoki murmured, leaning against a wall and closing his eyes slowly.

"…I know this is part of the plan, but how are we getting out?" Shinpachi asked. "We're trapped here."

"…"

"…"

"…don't worry! I have a plan!"

"…Kagura, why did you take so long to reply?"

"Anyways, we should start looking! We can only leave after we find him."

"…my collar is itching me."

"Now that you mention it, Gin-san, mine is too. Kagura, why are we wearing them again?"

"Animals are supposed to wear them," she replied, her face completely serious.

"Hey! What do you mean, ani—" Shinpachi was interrupted by the sound of footsteps and the loud clanging of metal.

"Hey!" a head poked into the room, "You there," the dark-haired guard turned to face the group. "Stay quiet."

Oh. That's right. This was the reason they were wearing collars. After all—

The guard muttered as he left, "Annoying mutts."

—they were dressed up like dogs.

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**Who**** let the**_** dogs**__**in**_**?**

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**Three hours ago:**

"Sadaharu!" the orange-haired girl called out, "Where are you?"

"Some of us are trying to sleep here," Gintoki mumbled under his magazine, lying down on the couch.

"You're awake," Kagura pointed out. "And it's noon."

"…I could be sleep-talking."

She ignored that—if he wasn't going to help, then there was no point in talking to him. Walking through the room, she picked up the table and looked under it. "Sadaharu?" She peered into a pot next.

"Like he could fit into that," the samurai muttered. "Are you blind or something?" He ducked his head to avoid the object he knew she was throwing at him.

"SADAHARU!" Kagura called out again, picking up the carpet. "Where did he go?"

"If I were him, I'd run away too. Noisy brat—"

A few minutes later, when Shinpachi opened the door to Gintoki's apartment, he wasn't too surprised to find a mass of bruises and blood shoved hastily beneath the couch. However, he was surprised to see Kagura sitting on top of the couch, her face filled with misery.

"What happened?"

"He's _gone_!" she wailed. "Sadaharu…he's gone missing!" she stopped to take a bit of her sukonbu, "I'm so miserable," she took another bite, "I can't eat properly."

"…"

The room was silent, except for the sound of Kagura sniffling and chewing.

"…Hey, can you go _not-eat_ somewhere else? You're heavy and—"

The room was once again silent as Gintoki lay unconscious on the floor.

"I think I know where he might be," Shinpachi told Kagura, "On my way here I saw a van and I think Sadaharu was in it."

"He was kidnapped?"

"No, it was—"

"Well, we won't pay any ransom! We'll save him ourselves!"

"…I think it was the dog catcher."

"Oh…Then, I guess we'll have to break him out." Kagura's eyes started to glow and Shinpachi shivered. Maybe it wasn't too late to go back to his sister?

-x-

**Present:**

"Ok, so, we have managed to succeed in phase one of the plan," Kagura announced from within their cell.

"Really? What was phase one?"

"Phase one was _**'Sneak in to the pound. Under the guise of being ordinary stray dogs, of course,'**_ I think we succeeded. Now, we just have to do the rest of my plan."

"…do we have to wear these costumes?"

"Gin-chan! STOP TRYING TO REMOVE THAT TAIL!"

"Hey, it's my body. I'm allowed to do as I please," Gintoki started to reach for his tail and Kagura snapped.

"Are you trying to abandon Sadaharu?" she screeched as she tackled him to the ground. "Now hold still while I ensure this stays on."

Shinpachi watched silently as the two continued to scuffle. The room they were in was this large, grey cell, with bars on the doors and two windows. Oddly enough, the windows were wide open and big enough for them all to escape through.

Shinpachi was wearing a dark, long-haired dog costume, appearing to be an Old-English Shepard, while Gintoki and Kagura just had on a pair of dog ears and a tail, with their socks and gloves as paws.

It was an obvious disguise for those two, but they also got into the pound. What defined a dog nowadays, anyways?

"Hey! Stop it!" the guard yelled again. "Ahh…so it's those two dogs…" he walked up to their cell and rapped on the door. "I know you two are obviously in heat and want to have dozens of puppy-things, but do it _later_."

Kagura and Gintoki froze for a moment. They remained silent while Shinpachi silently laughed to himself.

"Gin-chan…" Kagura finally spoke, "What does he mean by 'in heat'?"

"…That's a grown-up thing. You'll find out later."

Shinpachi laughed loudly this time at Gintoki's awkwardness.

-x-

**Phase 2: Find Sadaharu—Using any methods necessary. **

**Time: Five hours since Sadaharu has gone missing.**

"How are we going to actually sneak around this place? We're trapped in here!"

"Shinpachi, don't doubt me. I have several thoughts on how to do this!" Kagura laughed evilly. "Many plans…"

Gintoki grunted and leaned on the wall. "Tell me when you're done." He closed his eyes and was about to sleep when Kagura grabbed his hand.

"Gin-chan, You. Will. _Help._ Me." With every word, her grip grew tighter and he winced.

"And how is that?"

"My plans for this is to bait the guards—"

"Bait them? With what?"

"…our food?"

"…Kagura, that's not going to work. We have _dog_ food,"

"…but it tastes good to me!"

"Because you are a dog—" Gintoki smashed into the wall.

"Did I hear something?"

"…no. Anyways, it's food for dogs, and our guards are _not_ dogs. They are cats."

"Oh…"

The cat-like Amanto walked into the room again, his furry face smiling. "Ahh…so many pets…all caged up…"

"Well, then I guess…we can attempt to capture his attention."

Shinpachi turned back to Kagura. "What do you mean—"

Kagura sat on top of Gintoki and started to take off her boots. Her socks fell off too—

"Hey, that smells really bad."

Kagura's bench remained unconscious.

"Kagura, what are you doing. Have you been reading Gin-san's books again?"

Kagura looked at him innocently, blinking her eyes. "No. Why would I?" Her pale, slender hand reached down and went into her boots, before retracting and holding out some of her—

"All of that was for Sukonbu?"

"…I was hungry."

"Hey!" the guard strode up to the cell again and slowly unlocked the door. "You, the furry dog, you're coming with me."

"What?" Shinpachi yelped as a leash went around his head.

"Well, besides the fact that I'm giving your very active cellmates some privacy, you've just been adopted," the guard explained as he clipped in the leash.

"….ADOPTED?"

"Yeah. They wanted a talking dog. You fit the bill. Feel happy." Turning around, the Amanto started to pull Shinpachi behind him. "They're rich too, so I'm sure you'll be treated fine."

"But—"

"Oh, but be careful. You're this family's 59th pet. They have tendency to…'lose' their pets."

Half strangling Shinpachi, the guard locked the gate and started to stride off with the desperate free-lancer. As he left, he yelled behind him, "You two, no funny business while I'm gone. I'd rather not have any more of this flirting."

-x-

"Ok. Shinpachi is gone," Kagura started to count from her fingers, "And Sadaharu has not been seen yet. There's food in my boots. We're in the pound. I have sukonbu. The sky is blue…" she froze in her counting. "Gin-chan!"

"What? Realize something important?"

"I don't have enough fingers!"

"…" he sighed, rubbing his hair slightly. This was becoming more of a hassle than he expected.

-x-

**Phase 3: Sneak out of the cell, if possible. **

**Time: Seven hours since Sadaharu has gone missing.**

"Well," the guard purred, looking at Kagura and Gintoki. "I'm back. Now, if you feel like doing anything, I have two cells just for you."

"Damn. He's onto our plan, Gin-chan!" Kagura turned to her partner, her eyes wide with surprise.

"…I don't think he's talking about that."

"Oh, then what?"

"…nevermind."

"Tell me!" she ordered, pouncing on him. However, before she could land a single punch on him, the guard held onto her.

"Now, what did I say?" he kept a hold of her and started to drag her out of the cell. He opened another cell and threw her in. "Now, stay there, mutt."

"You know, for someone who loves dogs, you are very rude to them!" Kagura yelled out. She looked around the cell, and noticed the other dogs around her. "Hey, any of you see Sadaharu?"

The big blue dog to her left growled menacingly and started to approach her.

"Oh, so you know him?"

The dog continued to growl and the leaped into the air.

"Wow! You must know him very well. He does that to me all the time!" Kagura smiled happily as the dog bit her head. Looking past the streaming blood, she noticed that the guard had finally left.

"Gin-chan! We can escape!"

The samurai raised an eyebrow. "How?"

"…we can…Oh. I'm hungry. Escaping can wait for later." Reaching down for her snack, Kagura felt something snap.

It was her sukonbu. No longer was it a long strand. Instead it was fragmented.

Kagura's eyes widened as she saw this and the air around her grew heavy. The atmosphere grew tense and the lights started to flicker. Narrowing her eyes, the girl seemed to glow red.

"You will all suffer the wrath of the Yato clan," she hissed out, punching the walls around her. "DIE!" As the walls crumbled around her, she left her cell and began punching everything in the room.

"THAT GUARD SHALL PAY FOR DESTROYING WHAT IS MINE," she roared and Gintoki crept out of his cell. The dogs started to stream out of the building, heading out into the streets.

"She could have done that in the first place…" Gintoki frowned and turned to look at the angry alien.

It was time to grab what was _his_ and escape.

-x-

**Location: Gintoki's apartment.**

**Time: Kagura's and Gintoki's breakout from the pound.**

"_And so, for some strange reason, there are thousands of dogs swarming the streets. Some are just running off in hiding, while others are robbing several pedestrians. Residents are warned to hide in their homes until the dogs have been dealt with."_

The big, white, fluffy dog perked his ears as he listened to the television. They now showed a picture of the dog pound he had nearly entered, until someone had walked by and released him.

His stomach growled a bit and Sadaharu wondered when he'd get his dinner.

-x-

Okita chuckled evilly to himself. He knew if he rescued that dog, something would happen.

Something bad.

Still laughing, he headed back to headquarters. Time to make tomorrow's war plan.

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**A/N:** I was going to leave it where Sadaharu was at home, watching T.V., but then I couldn't resist adding Okita. He's my favourite character, besides Sadaharu. Anyways, I'm posting this early because I have an operation later.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, REMY! HOPE IT'S A GREAT ONE!

SPARKLES


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